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wearing out your welcome

for the last four months or so i have been spilling my guts on the internet.

originally i started afternoons with harley for three main reasons: i love to write & it makes me incredibly happy, i went through something fairly traumatic & hope that sharing my story would help me feel better & lastly, to connect with other women who, like me, had their lives completely destroyed by love.

and while i feel like i am accomplishing those three things, i’m also running into three major headaches.

these headaches come in the form of three irritating types of guys that started popping up as soon as i started my blog & the social media accounts that go along with it.

now opening up often means opening yourself up to criticism, opinions & judgement from others. while i expected all of that… i didn’t expect this kind of interaction & i’m finding it to be stressful dealing with internet creeps. 

the first type of guy is just a straight-up sleaze – the kind of guy that i’m sure sends direct messages to all sorts of girls.

they are uninvited, gross & unfortunately sometimes include pictures.

they’re just not nice.

and if you’re one of these guys… please stop doing this… not only to me but to all women out there. thank you.

the second type of guy is slightly more gentle but equally as creepy. as in 20+ messages a day kind of creepy.

‘good morning beautiful’ messages, ‘good night gorgeous’ messages, ‘hope you’re having a great day’… the list goes on & on & on.

while this sounds sweet – they come out of nowhere.

i’ve never responded to any of them, i don’t follow these guys back & we have no mutual friends. it’s just a flood of messages & it’s a lot.

if you’re one of these guys & the person you’re messaging (me or someone else) is not responding to you – please stop bothering them. thank you.

and lastly, the third kind of guy is a little bit tricky.

it starts with them liking or commenting on your post, maybe they send you a message & share a bit of their own story with you, but then it becomes ‘i would love to take you out for drinks or dinner when this pandemic is over’…

nope. no, thank you. this makes me think you’re only reading the blog & here to ask me out on a date.

now i know some of you reading this are going to think i’m a total jerkface for writing that & yes, i know it takes a lot of guts & courage to ask somebody out – but that’s not what we’re doing here.

i cannot say it enough or loud enough – i did NOT start sharing my story for any of the following reasons: for pity, attention, validation or for a date. 

this blog, while about relationships, is not about any guy. or guys. it’s about me & my relationships.

so, if you are here to be part of this community, thank you.

but if you’re here to ask me or any of the incredible women who open up here, out on a date – please leave.

there are some great spaces on the internet for you to meet people & get dates… a self-help/personal development blog written by a woman who just had her heart completely torn to shreds is not one of those places.

so again, if you’re here to share stories & support each other in the aftermath of heartbreak (however you identify) welcome!

and if not – you’ve got to go elsewhere bub. you’re wearing out your welcome.

xxoo, k

8 thoughts on “wearing out your welcome

  1. Yes, there are guys who are going to prey on your vulnerability. And in their warped minds, they think that they’re the cure for what ails you. But as we found out by reading your blog, you’re one smart and tough cookie. And one day some guy is going appreciate those qualities of you. Take care.

  2. I’m so sorry that things have not turned out quite the way you had hoped. It’s one of life’s harder lessons. But in the process, you are headed on an exciting voyage of self-discovery. Even though you may not realize it right now, the world is your oyster!

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