my reasons are my own


‘no reason to stay is a good reason to go’

this quote stayed as my screensaver for months.

it was a simple, but strong reminder that i was making the right decision to leave my marriage – which had become the darkest place i have ever been.

and i’m thinking of this quote again because of a couple of interactions i’ve had over the last little while.

i’m trying to keep in mind that times are extremely stressful right now & it can be incredibly easy to let your fear or your anger get the best of you.

i’m trying to remember that people may be snappy or acting out of character due to the stress that’s happening in their own lives.

but these comments still got to me.

one came from an internet acquaintance who told me my blog was just me complaining, that i did this to myself by leaving my husband, my home & my ‘wonderful life’.

the second comment came from somebody really close to me who said i have nobody to blame but myself & that i ‘didn’t have to leave’.

and i guess both are right in a way.

i did choose to leave & i don’t have anyone to blame but me.

i could have stayed in my marriage, in my beautiful dream home with my incredibly handsome & accomplished husband – living what everybody thought was the perfect life.

i could have stayed in my palace that had become more like a prison. i could have stayed with somebody who spent the majority of his free time with other women.

i could have stayed shattered. sad. scared.

but one day i realized i had no reason to stay & i had every reason to go.

every reason to be leaving a bad or toxic relationship.

thankfully i had family that took me in, friends who supported my decisions & now readers who share their experiences with me through the blog & social media.

maybe the life i had looked great from the outside, looked like a life other women would have given anything for… but it wasn’t a good one on the inside.

and i want a life that looks & feels good – to me – from every angle.

if you have or are leaving a bad or toxic relationship, & feel comfortable sharing, please do so in the comments below…

ps – for more Harley moments, follow us on facebook, twitter & instagram

xxoo, k

13 thoughts on “my reasons are my own

  1. Just left a toxic relationship recently. Was very difficult, but I’m back on my feet now and I’m better off because of it. Keep doing what is best for you!

    1. one was an internet ‘friend’ & the other was family… but i think they just don’t know the real story of why/how my marriage ended

  2. Ok beautiful lets get a few things straight! Your blog is not you complaining! Your blog is you expressing your feelings and trying to heal its your therapy. Everyone deals with pain, heartache and tragedys in many differnet ways you’ve tried many different things. Sometimes writting them down is a way to get them out, Some do it in private they lock it up and forget it, but you have the courage to let the world read them. This may lead to a women or a man who thinks they have to stay, to get the courage and realize they deserve more and make a change. To the person who told you its just for you to complain my response to them dont read it! You have a choice your not being forced to read them. Freedom of speach, you have a platform and you have an enormous support system. You’ve had people shame you into being quite for far to long continue with your blogs and freely talk about what it is you love or how you feel. NOW to the next person who said “you have nobody to blame but yourself & that you didn’t have to leave’.” Im sorry did they walk in your shoes? Did they endure the pain and abuse? Its always so easy for someone to give thier 2 cents untill they’ve lived what you did. When you get married you think you’ve found your happily ever after but a snake can’t hide forever. Leaving a marriage is never easy it take months and sometimes even years with many attempts. You didnt ask for a drunk abusive unfaithful man, You asked to be treated how you treated him, With love honour and respect. You entered a partnership with someone you thought wanted the same, instead he dimmed your light and put you in shackles of shame. You have a heart of gold, a smile that lights up the room and an amazing loyalty to your family, friends and to any romantic relationship you’ve every been in. To any man who thinks they want you as thier future please remember, Kahal is a strong beautiful career driven women, she is loyal, down to earth and loveable. When she enters a room yes all eyes will be on her but thats simple her inner light shinning threw, she is very approachable and very well know. She has been through alot so please dont play with her heart or use her past as a weapon towards her. Please make sure your a confident with yourself because if she’s with you shes with 1000%. Somemay say this post is ridiculous and thats ok but this amazing women is my best friend of 22 years and she derseves nothing but the best. Keep shinning keep smiling and most of all keep writing.

  3. People always think they know everything that is going on in a person’s life based on what they post on social media. You did what you had to do to make your life better. Don’t ever doubt that you made the right decision for you, because at the end of the day, you have to live your life, not these “so called friends”. Thank you for being brave to share just a sliver of your story.

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