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leveling up

‘don’t let anything take you back to a level that you have already leveled up from’

especially after working so hard & putting in so much time to better yourself & in the process – better your life.

it’s taken me forever to feel like i’ve ‘broken through’ or ‘moved up’ to a new level.

i felt like i was stuck for well over a year, a year of false starts & fleeting moments of hope & motivation. like i was buried under the weight of my broken heart & all i could manage was to go to work & then come home & hide from the world.

it became a routine of canceling plans to binge watch tv in hideous oversized hoodies & sweats, while eating bad food & falling asleep on the couch. i didn’t want to keep living like that but i didn’t have the drive to change anything either.

but over the last couple of weeks, something has started to shift…

i’ve stopped canceling plans with my friends & i’ve been forcing myself to get out more.

that’s led to dressing a little better. i no longer wear pajamas into work & i’ve actually made myself change into a nicer shirt on a few occasions, instead of going out in my baggiest black t-shirt that’s covered in dog hair.

and that’s led to one of my biggest victories yet – i went out with friends last night (yay me!) & i DIDN’T STOP for fries or any other junk food on the way home! seriously. i don’t think i’ve ever done that before.

looking better made me feel better & i didn’t want to ruin it with junk. instead, i made a veggie & hummus wrap when i got home & i woke up this morning feeling like a million bucks.

i felt so good that i actually went out again for lunch today & was able to wear an old (but really nice) pair of jeans that i haven’t worn in ages – & i chose a healthy meal at the restaurant.

it’s like one positive decision leads to another to another.

i finally feel like i’ve moved on to another level & i’m not going to let anything stop me, or pull me back down.

xxoo, k

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