officially! and it’s all mine!!
well, Poppy’s too – but i bought it all on my own & i am so dang proud of myself.
which feels incredible since i haven’t had a whole lot to feel very proud of over the last couple of years.
i’ve certainly made some questionable decisions & had some bad reactions at times.
but one thing i am super proud of… is the fact that i not only walked away from a very toxic & harmful relationship, but when i walked away from that mess – i took the high road to get the heck out of there.
i didn’t fight, or try to get revenge, or try to hurt anyone back.
i just left.
i asked for nothing & took nothing that weren’t my books, clothes & dog.
i went to my mom’s. i called a lawyer. and that was that.
i completely started over.
no furniture. no money. no home.
but in a way – i had everything i would ever need.
i had Harley & my incredible family & friends.
i stayed with my brother, mom & finally my dad while i started therapy, saved up money for my down-payment & looked for the perfect house.
and although this isn’t the first place i’ve owned (i became a homeowner while married) it’s my first house i’ve ever owned all on my own & that feels better than i could have imagined!
it is pretty empty – i have random pieces of furniture from mama & my dad – but the dog is loving racing around from room to room without crashing into anything.
and i am spending an almost alarming amount of time online every day looking up design & decorating blogs & i’m excited to start adding some personality here.
on a more serious note though – it’s been almost exactly two years since i left my old life behind & when i look back at how crushed i was after leaving that place & that person behind – i shake my head in disbelief.
that wasn’t a home at all.
that wasn’t a safe place. a loving place.
but this is. and this always will be.
if your house doesn’t feel like a home & you want to leave or are trying to get out – please keep trying.
i know it’s hard & it feels like your whole world is falling apart but you have to keep trying.
you deserve to be happy, to be in a home where you feel comfortable & safe.
you deserve to be loved & treated with respect & kindness.
so please keep trying.