fighting for a way

i am not known for being a very organized person. i’m not type a, i’m not detail oriented & i’m certainly not someone you would trust with a super important document.

like a birth certificate. or a passport.

two fairly important government issued materials that i lost sometime over the summer while moving from my mama’s to my dad’s & then back to mama’s again. and then back to dad’s.

only i didn’t realize i had lost anything until 10:30pm this sunday when i was suddenly jerked awake by the thought that not only did i need them for a very big appointment the next day – but i truly had no freaking clue where they were.

this was an appointment i had made about three months ago to have my name legally changed.

something i was so excited for, i actually put it on my wall calendar with multiple stars & exclamation points.

i was talking about it non-stop. envisioning the day my i.d. changed, imagining how it would feel to put my new bank cards with my new name into my wallet.

i even practiced my new signature.

you know what i didn’t do?

read ALL the instructions on the forms that explained what i had to bring with me to have the official paperwork done up.

then something about proper identification & surrendering birth certificates floated back into my mind in the middle of the night, the day before my big day.

and then the panic started to settle in. i jumped up, tore apart my closet & every drawer in the house, yelling to my dad to see if he had seen my stuff.

he hadn’t & suggested that i cancel the meeting & go back to bed (he is a realist & i get up at 3am for work).

but i wasn’t done yet. i called my mama at what was now 11pm, breathless from turning dad’s house upside down, freaking out about losing everything.

luckily, after searching the spare room at her place, mama confirmed that i in fact, had left everything there. moms always know where you leave your junk!

so i threw my winter jacket over my jammies & went out to the car, only to find that i had very little to no gas in my tank. seriously. i was planning on getting gas monday after my appointment. go figure.

are there even gas stations open at 11:30pm on a sunday in december? i went back in the house to ask dad while the car warmed up & he said probably not – again suggesting that i cancel the meeting & go back to bed.

cancel a meeting i’ve waited months for? to finally get something i really, really want? i think not.

thankfully good ol’ google found me one gas station open for another 10 minutes, close enough to the house that i could get there without running out of gas.

finally, i was able to make the 45-minute drive to mama’s, where she was waiting with my i.d., sliced up veggies, dip & mini quiches (because moms always need to feed their babies).

driving back to winnipeg i started thinking about what dad had said about giving up & how differently we saw the same situation. i was faced with a sucky issue & he thought it would be best to give up, cancel & crawl back under the covers.

but i never considered it for a second. yea it was sucky. yea i did it to myself. but i also looked for a way. i found a way. i did what i needed & wanted to do.

and i’m happy to announce that the appointment went perfectly & i’m writing this while my new name documents are being processed.

maybe it’s a silly story – but whether you’re facing a minor inconvenience or a major life altering challenge, promise yourself that you’ll look for a way. or make your own way.

you’re definitely worth the effort.

xxoo, k

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