changing seasons

after everything we’ve been through in 2020, & everything we continue to go through… why are we still being so dang hard on ourselves?!

just the fact that we’ve made it to august should have us jumping up & down with joy & celebrating ourselves!

but of course, pandemic or not, life goes on & for some of us – what affected us before the world changed – is weighing even heavier on us now.

after my last post, talking about how i feel like i’ve transitioned from a very painful ‘healing’ season to a new & exciting ‘growing’ season, i received a lot of messages from people upset that they are still in the painful stage of healing.

that they’ve been there for a long time & now with everything that’s going on & life coming to a stand still, they feel like they’re also stuck & standing still.

i get that. i really do.

it can be so easy to feel hopeless, like things are taking too long.

or like you’re so broken that maybe you’ll never, ever feel better ever again.

and my super annoying response to most of these messages?

everybody is different & the healing process is different for everybody.

it’s different because everybody went through something different.

the way your heart broke was different from anyone else.

heck, the idiot who broke it was different from anyone else.

so the time you spend healing & moving on will be different from anyone else.

and if you’re going through some heavy stuff right now, or going back & forth between feeling good & bad, or bad & even worse – just know that you’re not alone.

it took me a damn long time to get out of my dark place & i had so many moments where i waivered back & forth.

moments where i snooped their social media or texted them on their birthday or cried while looking over old photos from happier times.

it’s not like i was this strong, empowered woman who left & never looked back!

there were so many times where i was weak & foolish & scared.

honestly, at times, i still have bad moments.

that’s why i continue to write & share my feelings & experiences here.

also, if you’re spending large amounts of time at home or alone, please give yourself extra grace & understanding!

we don’t have the same distractions we used to have.

most of us aren’t going out drinking with our girlfriends or shopping or going out to eat or doing any of the fun things we used to be able to do to help ourselves feel better!

we’re at home with our thoughts & our feelings & that can be a lot!

i also want to say that i hope you take your time.

your heart & soul will heal in their own good time.

please don’t let anyone else try to rush you or make you feel bad or guilty for not being ‘over it’.

and don’t rush yourself either. be gentle.

but keep moving forward, cause if you stop & stay where you are – you’ll just stay in the pain & that’s not where you want to be, right?

and as always, you are more than welcome here in the afternoons with Harley community.

that’s why i’m here – to keep a safe, welcoming place where women who are going through something heavy & who feel alone can get the support & love from other amazing women!

so continue reaching out – either here or on facebook, twitter & instagram!

i don’t mind at all… just promise me that you’ll take it a little easier on yourself!

love you all!

xxoo, k

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