being as you as you can be

the words that started it all.

the ones that sparked the idea that maybe, just maybe, i should share my story with the world.

at that point, writing quotes down & journaling my feelings had become part of my daily routine. however these pictures of Harls & the inspiring phrases were only making it as far as the screensaver on my phone.

i was feeling extremely ashamed of what i saw (& sometimes still see) as my biggest failure in life.

i was embarrassed to be getting a divorce at such a young age, after not being married for very long. embarrassed over what happened to me.

i felt a lot of shame. my story was shameful.

and i hated it. hated how i saw myself, how i thought others saw me.

then one day while i was moping around with Harls & writing, i came across these words & just felt something shift.

i had ended up in the worst place i have ever been in, both physically & emotionally, because i wasn’t being true to myself.

i wasn’t listening to my intuition, speaking up for myself or following my heart. and it sucked.

but what was i still doing, each & every day??

hiding myself. hiding my story.

that’s when i decided that i went through what i went through, i am where i am & i might as well do something about it.

i figured if others heard my story & could relate, maybe it would help all around.

and if i opened up & people absolutely hated me… well… no one could possibly hate me more than i did at that time.

so i had nothing to lose.

thankfully, you all have been incredibly supportive & the amount of messages i’ve received, sharing similar stories to mine are both heartbreaking & inspiring at the same time.

and since this is the canadian mental health association’s ‘mental health week’ (until may 10th), i thought it was a good time to share this quote with you.

it’s super scary to speak up & i’m not saying that you should start a blog, sharing your struggles & secrets with complete strangers… but i am saying that talking to someone you trust can help you feel a whole lot better.

and that maybe the more you open up & the more you share, the less you’ll feel like a freak.

at least that’s why i pour my heart out each & every week – so you feel like you can be your true self & i can feel like i’m not walking this painful road alone.

afternoons with harley is a community for those who have felt or feel ashamed by their story.

you are certainly not alone & i hope you always feel welcome here.

ps – for more on mental health week & the cmha – click here.  

xxoo, k

6 thoughts on “being as you as you can be

  1. I felt embarrassed too. Married for less than three years before it crashed. How would I face friends and family – the same ones who attended the wedding? I wanted to hide forever.
    Thankfully in a better place now – mentally and physically. It makes you view those memories in a different light.

  2. Great job being courageous and sharing your story. Your choice invites others who are struggling to come out of their darkness and bring their pain into the light! Proud of you! 👍

  3. Sharing means caring.
    It’s obvious you do and as someone who’s been there I understand.
    Your experiences shape who you are and, more importantly, who you’re becoming.
    You’ve gained wisdom and insight!
    All part and parcel of your journey to becoming your best self. 😊

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