preaching to myself right now…
now due to the fact that i’m single with no kids & have a career that requires me to put a bit more effort into my appearance, i, by default spend a fair amount of time & money focusing on myself – my happiness & my appearance.
but like most people, i haven’t been to a hair salon or a nail salon or a proper gym in a long time.
and i’m noticing it.
i’ve always been my toughest critic & i can sometimes be pretty harsh… but lately i’ve just been the biggest jerkface to myself.
like really rotten.
i pick myself apart almost every day now when i look in a mirror. or see myself on screen at work. or see a picture or video of myself on social media.
and i got real mean when my best friend texted over some old pictures she found of us in high school.
my first thought when i looked at 15 year old kahla was ‘oh my gosh, what a little troll!!!’… i mean the hair was a frizzy disaster, the skinny eyebrows were pretty much non-existent & the only thing worse than the breakouts was the horrible outfit i had on.
but when i looked at my bestie… i just smiled.
all i could think was that she was so cute & adorable with her shiny, bouncy hair & perfect skin.
i didn’t have a single bad thing to think about her – i never have – never will.
but i was so stinking evil to myself… it was a steady stream of mean, negative thoughts!
now i want to point out that i don’t feel like i’m a hideously ugly monster & i’m not sharing this to dig for compliments or for anybody to feel sorry for me.
instead – i just want to point out the fact that life is more than a little tense & stressful right now & what may have seemed like a small thing months ago can weigh a lot heavier on us now.
and it also doesn’t take very long or take much effort before one bad thought snowballs into a full on snit fit.
so, i’m pumping the brakes on the thoughts that send me into a downward spiral.
i’m reminding myself that if i want to make it through the next little while – i need to one hundred percent be ready & willing to love the heck out of myself.
i have to be okay with loving myself.
through all my phases. no matter how unruly or wild my hair or eyebrows get. or how stressed out or short tempered i become. or how much weight i gain or lose.
i am still me at the end of all of this & that person is worth loving. no matter what.