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love in a dangerous time

preaching to myself right now…

big time.

now due to the fact that i’m single with no kids & have a career that requires me to put a bit more effort into my appearance, i, by default spend a fair amount of time & money focusing on myself – my happiness & my appearance.

but like most people, i haven’t been to a hair salon or a nail salon or a proper gym in a long time.

and i’m noticing it.

big time.

i’ve always been my toughest critic & i can sometimes be pretty harsh… but lately i’ve just been the biggest jerkface to myself.

like really rotten.

i pick myself apart almost every day now when i look in a mirror. or see myself on screen at work. or see a picture or video of myself on social media.

and i got real mean when my best friend texted over some old pictures she found of us in high school.

my first thought when i looked at 15 year old kahla was ‘oh my gosh, what a little troll!!!’… i mean the hair was a frizzy disaster, the skinny eyebrows were pretty much non-existent & the only thing worse than the breakouts was the horrible outfit i had on.

but when i looked at my bestie… i just smiled.

all i could think was that she was so cute & adorable with her shiny, bouncy hair & perfect skin.

i didn’t have a single bad thing to think about her – i never have – never will.

but i was so stinking evil to myself… it was a steady stream of mean, negative thoughts!

now i want to point out that i don’t feel like i’m a hideously ugly monster & i’m not sharing this to dig for compliments or for anybody to feel sorry for me.

instead – i just want to point out the fact that life is more than a little tense & stressful right now & what may have seemed like a small thing months ago can weigh a lot heavier on us now.

and it also doesn’t take very long or take much effort before one bad thought snowballs into a full on snit fit.

so, i’m pumping the brakes on the thoughts that send me into a downward spiral.

i’m reminding myself that if i want to make it through the next little while – i need to one hundred percent be ready & willing to love the heck out of myself.

i have to be okay with loving myself.

through all my phases. no matter how unruly or wild my hair or eyebrows get. or how stressed out or short tempered i become. or how much weight i gain or lose.

i am still me at the end of all of this & that person is worth loving. no matter what.

 

xxoo, k

 

One thought on “love in a dangerous time

  1. I personally love your look, and how real you are and have always been. I can’t even imagine how tough it is to be on TV right now, when none of us are looking or feeling our best. I know that when you’re not feeling great, someone telling you you’re beautiful doesn’t help, but you ARE beautiful! You have great style and warmth, and that will always count more than perfect hair. x Hang in there.

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