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i’m unwilling

i love the word unwilling.

it might actually be one of my favourite words ever & i’m a lifelong reader & writer who is obsessed with words.

i like it even better when it follows the contraction ‘i’m’.

as in ‘i’m unwilling’.

i first became aware of the phrase during an argument with my ex when he accused me of being unwilling to see things from his point of view.

and i was.

because i was unwilling to be a pushover. i was unwilling to be taken advantage of. i was unwilling to be bullied.

you see, it’s all in how you use it… when i say ‘i’m unwilling’ what i’m really saying is that i’m unwilling to be in situations i don’t really want to be in.

i’m unwilling to live in a messy, cluttered house.

i’m unwilling to live in an unhealthy, bagel-filled body.

i’m unwilling to apologize for how i truly feel.

i’m unwilling to be intimidated by others.

i’m unwilling to feel guilty for no good reason.

i’m unwilling to waste my precious free time binge watching tv shows, when i could be learning, researching, reading or writing, walking the dog or talking to family & friends.

i’m unwilling to be uncomfortable. insecure. scared. jealous. worried.

to me, unwilling is empowering.

i’m unwilling to be unhappy but i am willing to make changes to get to true happiness.

xxoo, k

 

ps – for more on those changes i’m making, come hang out on facebook, twitter & instagram

4 thoughts on “i’m unwilling

  1. Stumbled upon your blogs today when scrolling through the CTV Regina twitter. Thought I would see what became of you. Wow, I read them all. It takes time, you are getting there. Strength is my way of describing you. Hope others are helped by your words that are so well written. Power on!!

  2. I’m impressed with the with the growth you are demonstrating as you work through your situation. Most individuals throw in the towel and spiral into despair. You are a witness to those struggling that healing can come!

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