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lost something but gained everything

before we all went into isolation & quarantine – i met a guy.

a nice guy.

and we were hanging out, talking all day long & i believed that things were going in the right direction… until i got the text.

you know the one. the ‘i just want to be friends’ text.

now let me just say that this is a great guy, he was kind & honest & i hold no ill feelings at all… 

but it stung. nobody likes to get a text like that from someone they like – especially from the first person they’re interested in after a huge breakup.

so this stung a little extra.

and my first thought to be honest, was to reply with something snarky. but while deleting & retyping words, i realized a few big things.

one being that i understood where he was coming from. for a long time the thought of being with someone other than my ex made me physically sick to my stomach – so i completely get just wanting to be friends with someone.

two being that i do actually like this guy as a person. so i do care about his feelings & what he wants, instead of just selfishly thinking of myself & what i want.

and three being how much i’ve grown.

which surprised the heck out of me. kahla a year ago would never have been mature or whole enough to accept this for what it really is.

i probably would have been hurt, then mad, then sent an angry response telling him that he wasted my time & that he should lose my number & forget my name.

i guess this last year has served me well. which is extra surprising because i feel like all i’ve done is hide out & wallow in my pain.

but as it turns out – the inner work – has worked.

and in the end i did craft what i think was a very kind & respectful response.

so even though i didn’t get the guy, i ended up finding a better version of myself – & i think that’s a million times more important.

it makes me feel so powerful & so proud that i can’t wait to grow even more.

and that’s growth that i can do all on my own. no guy required.

xxoo, k

6 thoughts on “lost something but gained everything

  1. In life we get the test first, then the lesson later. Your blog demonstrates you have been reflective and learned from your experience. In the end, this individual lost out on a special relationship with a kind, caring person,,,,you!

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