‘be proud of who you are, not ashamed of how someone else sees you’
when you make the decision to better your life, focus on yourself & love yourself – people are going to say things about it.
people closest to you might react because they will feel affected by the changes you’re going through.
strangers online may react if they’re triggered by something you post on social media.
and people from your past may suddenly make an unwelcomed reappearance to comment on what you are doing as well.
and that can suck big time!
this week, in my never-ending journey to build a life that i am absolutely obsessed with – i received some not-so-nice ‘feedback’ from somebody i thought was in my past.
and it wasn’t so much what they said (it was all things that have been said to me before & honestly i’ve heard much worse) but just the fact that they reached out – or lashed out in this case.
the realization that they are reading this blog, paying attention to what i’m doing & following along to some extent.
i felt & still feel a little uncomfortable about that, but i also started to feel bad or guilty, like i was doing something wrong… angering someone & disappointing someone once again.
and that was not okay.
it’s like the horrible, sinking feelings came back & i felt just like i used to back in the day when my spirit was being broken down.
and after all the therapy, self-growth & some pretty big life changes that have happened over the last several months, i felt weirded-out that i could be thrown right back into the dark shameful place i had suffered in for so long.
i was being triggered all over again.
but something shifted.
i didn’t fight back. i didn’t get baited into reacting.
i simply deleted the messages, called my favourite person who listened & supported me, then i went to my office, sat down at my desk & wrote a blog post that i am so damn proud of.
over time & working on myself, a lot of things no longer affect me… but every once in awhile, something will come out of nowhere & level me right out.
but i’m hoping that that this was growth in itself, & maybe i’m stronger & tougher for moving through it.
and even though i pray that i never, ever hear from this person again – i’m thinking that if i do, it will be easier, less painful & stressful.
and as for this blog & afternoons with Harley… this is what saved me.
both the actual afternoons i spent with my sweet baby, & also this online community i found & continue to grow here.
i am never going to stop this or give this up – it’s way too important to me.
this is my place, my home & i am not closing the doors or leaving.
if you choose to follow along with my journey or you choose to be a part of this community – know that i’m here for you & that we’re here for each other.
we’re not afraid to put ourselves out there, grow, learn, fail, mess up, look silly & keep moving forward.
heck, even if we are afraid, we’re going for it anyways.
no one is going to stop us & no one is going to silence us.