did anybody else’s june feel like it just went on forever & ever??
the whole month seemed so emotional & to be honest – kind of terrible – & i feel like it sucked everything out of me, including my creativity & my desire to write anything.
which was maybe a good thing… i spent the time doing a lot of research & inner work & took a really hard look at the world & everything that’s going on.
and while i do feel really good about that & intend to keep learning & educating myself – i also feel like it’s time to write again.
it hit me in the shower this afternoon, that i was ready to just put some words out there!
plus i do love the start of a new month – a fresh start – which is kinda my thing!
and a fresh start, or a restart, is exactly what i need after feeling so sluggish lately – mentally, physically & emotionally.
but at least i realize it & want to change it, instead of wanting to wallowing in it.
and i also sort of expected to feel ‘off’ in june.
it was pretty hard for me, not just because of everything going on in the world, but personally it’s a bit of a strange month for me.
june 20th marked one year since Harley’s cancer diagnosis. june 22nd is her birthday. june 24th is the day i lost her.
not my favourite week of the year.
for nearly a decade she was my whole world & was by my side through some of the biggest moments in my life as well as the ones that completely stopped me in my tracks & broke my heart.
she was my daughter, my best friend, my everything.
and i don’t think i will ever be able to explain what she truly meant or means to me.
even if i adopt or rescue a hundred other bullies in my lifetime – she will always be my heart.
so this last month meant a whole lot of tears, a whole lot of midnight margaritas & just kind of keeping to myself.
back when i had to say goodbye to Harls, i was at my all-time lowest low.
now, i can honestly & 100% say that a year later, i do find myself pretty happy & i can’t believe how different everything in my life is.
and i know moving forward that no matter what happens or how dark or miserable life may become again – it will eventually get good again.
i may need help & support from others & a ton of time, but one day things will turn around & i will be myself again.
i might just be a very different version, living a very different life.
so, i hope you all are doing well & taking care of yourselves out there & thank you for all the messages checking in on me – this community is the sweetest & i feel very lucky to have you all!
and as always – if you ever want to chat, feel free to leave a comment below, send a message or join us on facebook, instagram or twitter!