how are you spending your weekends in isolation?
do you get a weekend? or has this whole event blended into one long, endless weekend for you??
i’ve been working from home for about a month now & i still get ‘weekends’, which i spend watching movies, gaming & eating pizza with my dad & the dog.
which is fantastic – don’t get me wrong, i’m very lucky over here – but i am feeling a little disappointed in myself today.
before everything went wonky in this world, i was starting to feel very motivated.
i even wrote a few posts about eating better, working out once again & feeling hopeful about ‘getting back on track’.
but that’s all out the window now.
stress & the close proximity of my fridge has left me back at the beginning of my journey to be better.
yet another false start.
now i can’t even begin to tell you how many journal entries of mine from 2019 started with ‘things feel different’ or ‘i finally feel ready to make a change’… only to make said change for a few days or so before falling back into bad habits.
it always left me feeling like a loser or a failure or even a liar.
at the worst of times i felt like i wasn’t even worthy of a better life, since i couldn’t even stick to these changes for myself.
but now i’m starting to see these ‘false starts’ as ‘starting points’.
and the good news is, i get as many starting points as i need.
and they can be whenever… any second of any day. doesn’t have to be a sunday or monday or the first of the month or a new moon.
i remember back to when i realized my marriage was over & i had to get out.
i had 3 or 4 ‘false starts’ before i actually left for good.
i would pack a bag & leave, trying to move on but i always fell for something & ended up right back in that bad situation, wondering how i let that happen.
but i kept trying. even though i kept failing.
eventually, with the help of my family, i was able to get out on a sunny, cold november morning. for good.
and it no longer mattered to me how many times i had tried before.
i only needed one of my attempts to work.
thinking about that, makes me feel better about ‘failure’…
and i just want to say, that if you find yourself struggling with a difficult situation & you keep trying but aren’t getting there yet, please don’t be so hard on yourself.
love yourself enough to give yourself another starting point.
and one day your starting point will be your new beginning.
it’ll be the moment you look back on & are so thankful for. it could be the moment that changes everything for you.
so as always, if you ever need to talk – feel free to send a message or leave a comment below…